I love Levi exactly the way he is.
I’m not saying I love
all the challenges that necessarily have come along with it…but then again, doesn’t
God say to count it all joy…Doesn’t He use even the difficult things in our
life to produce character?
Romans 5:3 says, “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because
we know that suffering produces perseverance;” I know that the challenges and trials that Levi and the rest of us endure because of his special challenges will produce a beautiful "finished product" in us all. Those very things will cause us to be unique, fine and valuable people set aside for God's special purposes. God has made that promise to us.
Levi has taught me
that there is more to life than meets the eye. The gifts that people with
Autism have would not exist without the Autism. Plain and simple. Did you know
that you can actually bend the stream of water coming out of a faucet? Neither did I, until Levi showed me one day. This day was a true awakening for
me. It was when I realized that if I would take the time to enter into Levi’s
world, I just may realize why he did some of the quirky things he does. It also helped us realize that his world wasn’t all doom and gloom either. Because a
lot of the things that Autistic people do really are different and quirky, most
of us fail to realize that there is a real reason they’re doing those repetitive
behaviors, called stimming.
So, Trevor and I
came up with a Polder Family definition for Autism:
Autism- a unique circuitry of the brain, gifted to
individuals, whom God has chosen to fulfill His purposes through those special
talents and abilities that only Autistic individuals possess.
.
I know, it probably
won’t make it into a modern version of some well-known dictionary, but we
needed to do this so that we could pin down, in a sentence, how we really feel
about Autism.
We first realized
this concept when our son, Caleb, now 22, experienced serious reading
difficulties as a child. I tried so hard to teach Caleb to read. I couldn’t
understand why the same teaching techniques I had used for my other children
simply wouldn’t work for Caleb. Keeping Caleb’s self-esteem intact through this
process was very important to us, so we made sure that he understood that his inability
to read had nothing to do with his intelligence. The fact that he was extremely
intelligent couldn’t have been more obvious, since he had the ability to
understand how anything electronic or mechanical (or pretty much anything) was
put together and how it worked. We saw at a very early age that he was
extremely gifted. Although we knew we would have to figure out the problem with
reading, we kept a strong focus on his awesome talents and abilities. In the
middle of trying to solve this mystery, we also kept the idea in the forefront
that all children have a style of learning and that the problem we were
encountering was really a problem with ourselves and less of a problem with
him. The answer was going to be how to figure out his style of learning. Funny,
because I didn’t totally understand this, but there was something in me that
knew we were the key.
Caleb is Dyslexic.
Yes. It’s a sort of a label, but is that really all that bad? It’s just a tag
we’ve put on an individual that’s mind thinks in a very different, detailed and
intricate manner. Dyslexia can have negative challenges that can be hurdled.
But more than that, it is a special gift that some people have been given by
their Creator. And it is awesome. Caleb’s Dyslexia, given to him by God, has
given him very unique abilities that many of us don’t possess. So many of us “major”
only in certain areas. For him, it’s different. He has an uncanny understanding
of how to make most anything work. It’s kind of “across the board”. If someone
needs an amateur radio fixed…he can fix it. If we can’t figure out how to make
an architectural design come together when we’re adding on to the back of the
house…ask Caleb, because he can figure it out. I’m serious! And…we’ve given him
a name for his multi-talented self, “Wonderboy” (affectionately J). With the proper
training from Davis Dyslexia, we were able to identify the proper learning
style that he needed, and were able to give Caleb the gift of reading. Caleb is
an avid reader now and has been for many years. The details of how we arrived
there is a delightful and inspiring story by itself that I hope to put in
writing one day.
Ok, so yes. Dyslexia
and Autism are “very” different. But I think there are similarities in the way
that God has chosen to allow the brain to develop differently with these
persons. They are awesomely gifted and intelligent individuals that God
designed this way for some super-duper special purpose.
God made Levi just
the way he is. Our job is to provide the most optimum learning environment that
we possibly can, and in the process, to make sure that Levi knows without a
shadow of a doubt that his family absolutely adores him and believes in him!
God has a special purpose for Levi and I am genuinely excited to see how God’s
plan’s unfold in his life. He already has brought so much depth and a new level
of selflessness into our lives. He’s also given us a strong sense of
determination. I thank God that he has blessed our family by allowing Levi to
be a part of us.
I’m not going to lie.
I can't tell you how many times through the years I have watched Levi from a
distance, and could not stop the tears from pouring down my face. I have dealt
with so much grief trying to understand what it must be like for him to want so
badly to express himself and not being able to utter even a single word. Try to
imagine what it would be like. I cannot just settle with myself that Levi will
always be like this. I’m going to believe that Levi can talk and I’m going to
give him every opportunity if I have to move mountains to do it.
What if God chooses
for Levi to stay in a “low-functioning” state of Autism? What if he never talks? What if he never
reads or picks flowers for me. What if he never runs from across the yard,
yelling, “I love you, Mommy.”? Will it be because we didn’t believe enough? We
didn’t pray hard enough…long enough? Maybe, we didn’t speak enough positive
statements over him…or, maybe we caused him to be this way by speaking it into
existence because we’ve dared to speak with our mouth, "Levi is Autistic.".
Absolutely not!
I will never believe
anything other than the fact that nothing can happen to us in our life that
doesn’t come through the Hand of God.
Even when we don’t
understand.
We can trust.
That brings unbelievable comfort to my heart.
April is Autism Awareness month. I hope you’ll join us as we
continue journaling through the month. We are getting closer and closer to our
trip to Massachusetts in Mid-June and we are super excited to be making progress
on our goal of raising the money for this trip and Levi’s therapy room. We would be overwhelmingly grateful if you
would consider donating to Levi’s campaign, which we have named “Levi’s
Mountain”. You can donate securely through this blog by going to the top of his home page and clicking on "Donate".
Angela, Levi's Mommy <3
